Lenore Zion: My Dead Pets Are Interesting

Into four parts I Hate Myself Just a Bunch of Kid Stuff I m Not Entirely Certain and Dead Animals I barely know how to start because basically very line Zion writes is Student Research Projects in Calculus either funny trenchant sad or moving in some manner But I think the best place to start is literally the beginning how obvious the first line from the first article in the first section From What Not to Do About Rat Mites My dermatologist wasxplaining to me that my problematic mole was likely going to have to go but I wasn t listening much because I was focusing on the fact that I couldn t remember his name and also because he was looking at me funny and I got the distinct impression that he was flirting with me and I thought it was an odd time to choose to flirt with me being that I was wearing only my underwear and he had just moments ago finished inspecting me for cancerous growthsZion s neurosis seems to have contamination and fear of sickness as key components she was at the dermatologist because she had an almost invisible bump on one of her fingers that she was convinced was caused by a possible rat mite infestation in her apartment He s instead worried about a mole on her face he wants to remove immediately because he fears it s cancerous She is certain the doctor is both trying to pick her up and also is picking up on her nervousness She s certain she is not behaving properly that there is a human lement of relating to the doctor that she doesn t xecute properly and that when she laughs a bit too long at one of her doctor s jokes she scares him away I was sitting there basically naked under profoundly unflattering light complaining of rat mites receiving a recommendation to remove my uestionable yucky possibly diseased mole before its roots took hold and formed a personality of its own and then I started smiling at my doctor like an idiot because for some reason I thought that all of this might have left him feeling sexually attracted to meAnd this I believe is why he changed his mind and suggested that we just watch the mole instead of removing it Never mind it s not so bad I gotta go but don t worry I ll send th. Ar author of Fathermucker and Totally Killer Zion's fearless writing mirrors what's disgusting and great about the human condition Tony DuShane author of Confessions of a Teenage Jesus Jerk Reminiscent of David Sedaris' work in its wit compassion and honesty but Zion's breathy stream of consciousness confessional style is all her own She reveals her most hilarious thoughts on topics.

Hilarious I mean laugh out loud hilarious The only problem I had with this book was Love for Imperfect Things explaining to my roommates as I burst out in laughter why I m laughing at a group of kids running away from an old lady screaming obscenities after having just shown her their genitals I read half of this book out loud only because I had toxplain that I wasn t laughing at a midget but rather Lenore s discourse with the midgetThere s no obvious reaches for laughs here Zion isn t being joke y or setting up a punch line There s just humor in the re telling It s okay though I think we re laughing WITH her not AT her I need This book of short A Heart of Stone essays by Lenore Zion is a demented and delirious delight Her writing is almost all id with thego taking a back seat to an outpouring of thoughts opinions fantasies and actions that Taking Instruction (Taboo, expose an unsettled and unsettling mind Zion is a sharp observant craft conscious storyteller who is not afraid to be blunt daring compassionate and unpredictable all in a single sentenceAmong my favorite pieces of which there are than thirty individualssays to choose from are Nana Vs the Vagrants which pits the author and her siblings against both an unenthusiastic baby sitting grandmother as well as a casserole pushing family of strangers What I Did in My Room about the revelatory nature of listening and dancing to Joni Mitchell Tallywacker Karma With Weiner Vageener a childhood memory that is obscenely hilarious with an ironic twist Language and Linguistics ending that brings the bad deeds of youth full circle Beauty in the Eyes of a Fish that combines smells with memory and investigates a relationship that is neither fish nor fowlWith storytelling skills to give David Sedaris and Sandra Tsing Loh a run for their money and her own uniue perspective on a life askew Zion has constructed a stimulating and satisfying ode to oddness A terrificngaging read One of the funniest books I have read in a long time Lenore Zion has that brilliant combination of wit a sense of the macabre and a great handle on comedic timing I loved this book My Dead Pets Are Interesting consists of autobiographical sketches and is divided. Lenore Zion takes readers on a journey down the rabbit hole of the human condition It is beautiful It is ugly And it is brilliant Tom Hansen author of American Junkie Zanily macabre refreshingly irreverent unimpeachably funny Lenore Zion is living proof of Oscar Wilde's assertion that there are no dull subjects only dull writers because damn it her dead pets are interesting Greg Ole.

E nurse in And he fled the Divertimento examining room leaving Zion now worried she has a cancer on her face A bog standard neurotic would just be worried now about rat mites and cancer but Zion is a professional She takes it one step further So I want you all to know that if this disgusting mole kills me it s because I managed to put my doctor into a situation so uncomfortable that he was willing to take that risk if for no other reason than tonsure a speedy Love Is a Fairy Tale exit from the room in which he was trapped with a creepI am a creepAnd it s killing meI need to go to a dermatologist andngage in some activity called mole mapping It sounds hilarious and awful and I ve been putting it off for over two years because I know these stupid little bumps are these things called cherry angiomas and they re harmless mostly and that if I get Promise at Dawn everything mapped out I will know how many of them there are and will want to remove them I look in the mirror and demand that Mr OTC tell me if the little pinpoint of red on my neck or god help me between myyes was there yesterday and he always says no and sometimes he s not just saying that because he knows it s what I want to hear They really do pop up overnight And if I know where they are how many there are I will want to get them lasered off and that will be super xpensive because it will be an lective procedure because none of this is cancer So best not to know Best to avoid Bangkok Wakes to Rain engaging in my own freakout at the dermatologist because I won t worry about cancer at thend of it I won t The Right Sort of Man (Sparks Bainbridge Mystery even have the luxury of that sort of gravitas I ll spend thousands of dollars to remove little red dots from my body that no onelse sees because once I know for sure that new ones are sprouting up and that I am becoming a lumpy flesh bag covered in tiny red spots I ll have no choice but to drive us into penury getting them removed because assigning a number to anything makes me aware of it and when I am aware I am often anxiousSo you can see why I don t make the appointmentYou can read the whole of my Darkmere extremely long discussion over on Odd Things Considered disgusting in a good way i love humans. Ranging from face cancer tolder care Summer Block The most disuieting surprisingly poignant and shockingly honest stories you will Et si la maladie n'tait pas un hasard ? ever do yourself the favor of reading Kimberly M Wetherell award winning filmmaker A really really funny book I suspect a small camera has been installed inach copy and very time we laugh Zion is taking notes plotting her next triumph Nathan Pensky.

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Lenore Zion's first book My Dead Pets are Interesting was published by TNB Books in 2011 and she was an original contributor to The Nervous Breakdown Zion's second book a novel called Stupid Children was published by Emergency Press in February 2013 Zion has a doctorate in clinical psychology a degree which spawned her interest in psychological abnormalities Her specialty is the treat